the un-bigging your back era.
decentering black men pushes many black women to start taking their health seriously.
By TSR
We’ve officially entered the “unbigging your back” era – a time when more women are stepping away from gaining weight to keep a man who loves them “thick” and are instead hitting the gym, shedding pounds, and prioritizing their health.
One of the biggest contradictions we’ve witnessed from men is their ever-changing preferences. From the days of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Baby Got Back, where full figures and big butts were idolized, to now, where women have risked their lives for BBLs – only to hear those same men complain the results are “too much.” Worse yet, many women have experienced the heartbreak of being cheated on by men who turn around and date someone with a completely different body type. This cycle has left many women disillusioned. We’re seeing celebrities remove their BBLs, realizing that chasing the Black male gaze is no longer worth it. Some of the most stunning women, who spent thousands to sculpt their bodies for a man, found themselves betrayed by the very person they were trying to please. And Black women? They’re over it – and rightfully so. Imagine risking your health for a fleeting beauty trend, only to find yourself left behind when the standard shifts overnight. The “unbigging your back” era is a welcome change, and it’s about reclaiming power, confidence, and well-being. This movement isn’t just about aesthetics – it’s about long-term health. Young women today are recognizing the value of staying in shape, not for the approval of others, but for their future selves, as they navigate the natural changes their bodies will go through.
The discourse on obesity in America frequently overlooks the unique experiences of Black women, who face higher rates of obesity than other demographic groups. Cultural perceptions of body image significantly shape this conversation. In many Black communities, fuller body types are often celebrated as representations of beauty, strength, and resilience, contrasting with the Western ideal of thinness perpetuated by mainstream media. This cultural embrace fosters a sense of pride and solidarity, reinforcing the idea that beauty is diverse and multifaceted. However, while this acceptance cultivates body positivity, it can also complicate discussions about health and obesity. Black women frequently encounter societal messages that Black men prefer curvier bodies, with particular emphasis on larger buttocks and fuller figures. This dynamic highlights how body trends, influenced by male attention and cultural norms, evolve over time and impact Black women as well.
Historically, many Black women have sought to achieve fuller figures to align with these standards. The societal pressure to embody these curvier ideals often intersects with broader issues of identity, heritage, and representation. However, the rise of the "decentering men" movement has marked a shift in priorities, sparking critical conversations about autonomy and self-determination. Today, more Black women are focusing on personal fitness, healthier eating habits, and holistic self-care, driven by their own goals rather than external validation. This movement represents a powerful reorientation—one that places personal well-being and health at the forefront, rather than conforming to societal expectations driven by male preferences. It is part of a larger wave of self-empowerment sweeping through Black communities, promoting the idea that self-worth should not be contingent on the approval or gaze of others.
In this context, "decentering" refers to the deliberate act of removing men, particularly Black men, from the center of personal decision-making and self-worth. This shift is not rooted in resentment but stems from the recognition that prioritizing health, happiness, and growth can lead to transformative change. Decentering acknowledges the importance of self-ownership, challenging the notion that external opinions should dictate one’s choices and aspirations. This evolving perspective encourages Black women to chart their paths independently, fostering resilience and reinforcing the belief that their goals and desires hold intrinsic value.
For generations, Black women have been positioned as caretakers, often sacrificing their physical and emotional well-being to support families, partners, and communities. This ingrained role has contributed to elevated rates of obesity, heart disease, and stress-related conditions. The expectation to consistently nurture others can create cycles of neglecting personal health. However, as more Black women engage in this movement of self-prioritization, many report significant improvements in health, including weight loss and increased vitality. These changes are driven by a desire to enhance longevity, confidence, and overall quality of life—not to conform to external beauty standards but to achieve personal fulfillment and holistic well-being. This redefinition of success and beauty reshapes how Black women perceive themselves and their bodies, fostering greater self-appreciation and emotional resilience.
Mental health plays a pivotal role in this transformation. By addressing trauma, confronting body dysmorphia, and practicing self-love, Black women experience a ripple effect that enhances physical health. As the mind heals, the body often follows, creating a symbiotic relationship between mental and physical well-being. Therapists and life coaches report a rise in Black women seeking to break cycles of codependency, people-pleasing, and societal conditioning. This inner work dismantles long-standing barriers to healthier living, empowering Black women to take control of their lives with renewed clarity and purpose. Such efforts reinforce the idea that sustainable health begins with introspection and a commitment to self-improvement, laying the groundwork for enduring change.
The trend of decentering men is reshaping narratives, fostering empowerment, and paving the way for future generations of Black women to recognize their worth beyond external validation. Society often judges individuals based on outward presentation, but by focusing inward and prioritizing self-care, Black women are reclaiming their power and rediscovering the joy of putting themselves first. This shift is not just a fleeting trend but a transformative movement that challenges historical norms and reimagines the future of health, identity, and self-love for Black women across generations.
