Women And Child birth
Why Women Should Stop Having Children: The 4B Perspective and the Uncomfortable Truth
By Shanice Fils-Aime
New York, NY - I was raised in a house full of boys. It was loud, suffocating, and from an early age, I understood that my place in that home was not equal to theirs. But the moment that solidified my view on men, on the world, on the way women are forced to exist under male violence, was the night my older brother made it to my room. I was just a child, but that night, any illusion of safety, of family, of love within the home was shattered. From that moment on, I knew that I would never have a child.
The 4B movement, which stands for No Dating, No Sex, No Marriage, and No Childbirth, is a radical rejection of a system that has never served women. Originating in South Korea, it is a movement built on the understanding that men, as a class, have subjected women to harm in every form: through sexual violence, domestic abuse, economic oppression, and reproductive control. Among its tenets, the stance against childbirth is perhaps the most controversial, yet it is also the most necessary.
Women continue to bring children—especially male children—into a world that has already proven it cannot protect them. The reality is simple: boys grow up to be men, and men commit the overwhelming majority of violent crimes. They rape, they murder, they exploit, and yet, women still birth them, raise them, and send them into a world where they will likely harm women just as their fathers, grandfathers, and male peers have done.
Every woman who gives birth to a son takes a gamble. Will he be different? Will he escape the socialization that teaches men they are entitled to women’s bodies, labor, and submission? Will he reject the culture that makes it easy for him to abuse, to manipulate, to dominate? The odds are against him, and they always have been. The world does not raise good men. It raises boys who learn quickly that they can get away with hurting women, and most of them will.
Men’s violence is not an accident or an anomaly—it is systematic and global. From honor killings to femicide, from workplace discrimination to domestic violence, from revenge porn to sex trafficking, these are not the actions of “a few bad men.” This is an entire structure upheld by male entitlement, reinforced by legal systems that fail to punish them, and sustained by women who continue birthing them.
And this is where the uncomfortable truth lies: women must like the way they are treated, or else they would have stopped birthing their oppressors by now. Yes, it is a brutal thing to say, but what other explanation is there? Women have access to information. The data exists. The stories of survivors are everywhere. The knowledge of what men do to women is not hidden—it is spoken in crime statistics, in police reports, in the quiet sobs of women who have lived through it. Yet, despite all of this, women still bring men into the world.
If women truly wanted change, they would stop feeding the system that hurts them. The most powerful thing a woman can do is refuse to participate, refuse to create the very people who will grow up to harm her, her daughters, her sisters, and every other woman forced to exist in this nightmare.
Beyond the question of male children, the broader issue remains: can any child truly be safe in a world where men exist? The answer is no. Girls are at risk the moment they are born, groomed for subjugation before they can even speak. Boys, even if not predators themselves, are raised in a world that teaches them that dominance over women is their birthright. No child is truly safe in a system that protects male violence.
The best way to ensure children do not suffer is to stop having them altogether—at least until women have dismantled the structures that enable male violence. Until that day, bringing a child into this world—especially a son—is an act of negligence. Women must stop believing in the fantasy that “their son will be different” when history proves otherwise. The best way to protect women is to refuse to create more men.
The refusal to have children is not just a personal choice—it is an act of defiance. The world is not safe for women, and it never will be as long as men exist in their current form. If women truly want freedom, they must stop birthing the very people who oppress them.
The 4B movement has it right: No Dating, No Sex, No Marriage, and No Childbirth. If enough women commit to this path, the world as we know it will change. Until then, those who continue to birth sons must ask themselves: Do they truly want liberation, or do they just enjoy their chains?